I’ve been coming to accept that I’ve been doing many things for the wrong reasons. I use bookstagram to further this blog. I read books just to further my numbers on Goodreads. I stretch myself too thin just to do what I think I ought to. I turn things I used to enjoy into dreaded tasks that seem insurmountable.
I started my blog because I had so many thoughts about so many books. Yes, many of them were superficial but all the better to delve into my true feelings through writing. Except that is not what happened. Instead I heaped word on top of word so that I could say I had written another post. I had thirty posts, then sixty, then ninety and I was proud and oh so tired. Yet the posts themselves felt fairly meaningless. I wasn’t using them to delve deeper into the books, the knowledge, or my own response to either.
I wanted each post to have 400-500 words and I wanted 12-16 posts a month and 200 more unique visitors every month. If I didn’t get those things I felt like I had failed. Even if I had read the most mind-altering book and written a good review I still felt like I had failed. I got caught up in the numbers, the quantity, rather than the quality of my writing and my learning. I’m changing that, starting now.
Yes, I’ll still have a goal for how many books I’ll read next year and for how many posts a month I want to create, but I’ll keep the goal low (75 books and 6-8 posts a month, maybe) so that it doesn’t become my only goal. My other goals will be to feel proud of each of my posts and to learn something from each book. I will also be including posts other than reviews. The posts will still be bookish in nature. I’ve been changing as a reader and as a person and I would like to highlight that change and study it as I would any good book. I’ll still read for pleasure, but I’ll read for depth as well.
In late December, I’ll post my New Year’s goals for the blog.
I want this blog to be about connecting with literature and connecting with people through literature. Join me on my journey and let me know your suggestions in the comments below.Follow me on Instagram and Goodreads